What have you waited a long time for?

I remember sitting in a restaurant the day I graduated from college, waiting for my family to arrive. I thought about that, about how much time we spend waiting for people to show up, literally and figuratively. About how so much of our lives are spent waiting. Waiting for the food to come, waiting to graduate, waiting for your big break, waiting for the test results, waiting for the day to come, waiting to board an airplane, waiting for the sun to shine, waiting for the rain to fall, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Mostly, I remember a time when I did not wait. My high school boyfriend, Scott, served a mission to England for the LDS church when he was 19, as all of our guys friends did. It's a two year mission and the rules are pretty strict about having contact with people back home--no phone calls and limited emailing. Sometimes when a guy has a girlfriend, he'll ask her to "wait" for him while he's serving his mission. In other words, he's asking her to not get married and to still feel the same about him when he gets back so they can pick up where they left off. It's a tricky business, waiting for a missionary. A lot can happen in two years, and with the limited communication, it's hard to keep the relationship strong. I know of a lot of couples who make it, and I know of more who don't.

I didn't wait.

I didn't get married while he was gone, nor did I even meet anyone that I could have married. But somewhere in between the time he went to England and the time he only had six months left, I realized that I didn't feel the same about him. I didn't want to pick up where we left off. I didn't want to wait. I had been all set to do all of that at the beginning. I wrote him letters and emails every week, sometimes more than once a week. I supported him, I sent him packages, I encouraged him to focus on his mission and the work he was doing. But the distance gave me perspective to see what was not good about our relationship, and then it still took me eighteen months to decide that I was moving on.

I don't consider myself an impatient person, but that decision to stop waiting was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Even though I lost Scott as a friend for a while, even though it hurt him deeply, even though it was hard for me to let that part of my life go, it allowed me to wait for the right person to come along. Someone who, ironically enough, is now waiting for me to have the experiences I need and want here in Pittsburgh.